Im Chuck Bass....enough said.

I crave for a love as twisted as Chuck and Blair's. So much passion, so much angst.
When he is not playing bad chuck he could quite possibly be perfect.

I have been watching the start of season 4 and it is a great distractor.

some of my favourite lines...

Blair: Do you like me?

Chuck: Define like...
Blair: *laughs* You've got to be kidding, I do not believe this!
Chuck: How do you think I feel? I haven't slept! I feel sick, like there's something in my stomach... fluttering
Blair: Butterflies? Oh no ... no no no, this is not happening!

Blair: How could I still love you after what you did?

Chuck: So you did it just to hurt me. Eva made me into someone I was proud to be. You just brought back my worst self. This means war, Blair. Me versus you. No limits

Blair: Once men have tasted caviar, it baffles me how they settle for catfish.”

Chuck: "we don't need tickets, I'm Chuck Bass."

He just SCREAMS sex....seriously!

Last day today.....counting down the hours til i can go and have my goodbye $5 cosmos.... I shall take trashbag photos and update you all tomorrow.

Plan of Attack

Ok so new plan of attack and one im sticking to. Currently reading "40 days to a city cave man" all you fitness junkies its a agreat read and a real inspiration. It is also a great concept that Im wanting to adapt.

So nov 8th is Game day, That is when I start the New job, the New gym and the new pt.
I have made a deal with myself to only eat fresh food, work out 6 days a week.

my workout plan will look like this
Monday- C25K and Body Pump
Tuesday - Cross trainer for 10 min, bike for 10 mins, and then boxing class
Wednesday- C25k and pt session
Thursday - Rowing 30 mins, then Rpm,
Friday - C25k, body combat, zumba
Saturday Swimming then yoga

Over time Id like to throw more swimmingin there and take up dance classes again.
Im going to make sure I do a big shop of all healthy food for the new week, and am considering joining weight watchers to help me along.

On another note, I have a busy week ahead, and I love busy weeks because that means less time to feel sad and think about HIM

So tomorrow will be my last day at my job, its going to bed sad, I have made some great friends here. We will be going out for goodbye drinks.
Saturday I then Have a pro driving lesson, on my way to my license and freedom. That night I have A gf bday bbq!
Sunday i am going down the coast with the famz til Tuesday.

So I will try and fit in some posts and stop being so damn lazy!

update

So this may of been the longest I have not spoken to him, It feels amazing I feel stronger, but I do notice the absence.
I have come to terms with the fact that he will probably move on before me and thats because he is male and it just so happens like this.
In reality he has already moved on, the moment he chose to cheat on me he stopped caring about me, about us. He stopped being the man I fell in love with and became a wanker!

I still get scared, scared I wont find that happiness of a family, that I wont meet someone else i will love as much or more.
So if any of you are willing to share your sgtories and give me hope please do LOL.


So due to the various shenanigans for my birthday my goals of health and fitness have gone off the rails.
Dont worry I will be getting back on them as soon as my world finds some order, I have been sick due to the partying and have been on bed rest the last 3 days, luckily I bought a hard drive and have had hrs of movies and tv shows to keep me company.

I have written myself a form of a bucket list

http://www.43things.com/person/m1ssjade

if anyone wants to see pleas go there, great site and concept.

I have also considered weight watchers as a alternative to lite n easy, again anyone have any opinons on it lemme know.

BAHAHA speak of the devil he just called to say hi.....I know I know, im setting myself up for torture and i would be much better off if i just cut him off but i feel i need to go through thre thailand experience with him....crazy or what

Be Right Back

i suck Im sorry. Im on annual leave for my birthday LOL

brb

Move over Alba

Thats right move over Jessica Alba, Im gonna give you a run for your money!

I have designed a inspiration board, which i will take a snap of when i get home to show you all. every morning i wake up look at this and get inspired to be healthy for that day!

I have had a massive training session with my PT who might I add kicked my ass with circuit training, as we speak Im sitting here doing absolutly nothing yet my stomach muscles are hurting, but its a good pain, makes me feel like Im getting somewhere.

I have also discussed with him my eating habbits and incorperating a protein shake.

In regards to being just healthier in general I have decided I would like to take up the habbit of Green tea...apparently their are shitload of antioxidents that a great for your insides.

The downer is that I jumped on the scales and I havent lost a thing since starting this journey, but Im going to invest in a expensive scales that tells you body fat, muscle etc. as I have been doing alot of weight training.

Even more exciting My darling friend stayed up til midnight last night and got us BDO tickets!!!!!
I am going to stalk the shit out of lupe fiasco until he marries me! ok maybe not that extreme but Im excited.


HE who we do not name has been in contact just with small hi's, what are you doing? etc. its so confusing because some days Im quiet ok with being friends with him and having him in my life. Then days like today I go into thinking mode, and i start to think I cant beleiev you did this to me, I cant believe all the time you made me sad about not trusting you. I cant believe that for 5 years my world revovled around you and I was only ever with HIM and he was stickin his junk into some other trashbag and then coming home to me, it makes me sick, and right now I hate him......Im sure i will wake up tomorrow and the anger will be gone and life will go on...

Dedication

I need to be more dedicated.... i seem to be coming across all talk and no action

So i figure that if I state my goals online I will feel more obliged to achieve them (so i hope)

TARGET DATE

febuary the 1st 2011

GOALS

My main goals is to be healthy and fit, along the way I would be quite please if i lost 15kg (this is the relatrionship weight i put on)

I would love to be able to run 5k and not feel out of breath

I would love to feel like my insides are healthy and my immune system can kick ass!

I want to have mini holidays, weekends away, so i can feel like im really living life!

I want to surround myself with gorgeous friends that i can have amazing  memories with

and most importantly I want to be HAPPY!!!!!

now the hard part, how to acheive them,

PROGRESS STAGE

-so this is my 2nd week on lite n easy, i kinda failed in the first week with small snacks in between

but today is day 1 of being dedicated

so far today i have had two peices of soy and linseed toast with vegemite, strawberries, bread roll with ham tomatoe and chees, organge and cheese and corn muffin. lots of water and a shot of coffee. 

I plan to go for a run well technically i plan to start C25K today for the millionith time but im sticking with it this time.

 You would all be happy to know I have invested in some garnier fake tan, and started using that last night, its a gradual one.

So count down is on for my birthday week. yes you read right week. i decided to entitle myself to a week long birthday after the shit Ive been through I figured I deserve it.

I really need to start tracking these goals, maybe I will make Monday Goal day. The day i report in LOL.

now back to boring old work.....