The Long Road Ahead

So where to begin....

Im starting this blog to help me deal with whats going on in my life and the major turn it has taken.

2 weeks ago my life came to a shattering halt.

it was like the world stopped and i couldnt breathe.

I met him when i was 18, we fell in love hard and fast.

I didnt like him at first, he was too nice, too much of a good boy, b ut everyone said he was perfect and to give him a chance.

we pretty much started living together after 3 months

I spent 5 years with him, loved him more than i knew i could, bent over backwards for him and worshipped him, I was sure he felt the same.

we talked constantly about getting married, had the date picked out, and what our kids would look like, where we would live when we retired.

Thats was all just a dream i guess, i have since found mr perfect had been having an affair for 8 months wit a whore at his work, whom i knew and had spent time with.

Now he tells me he loves me, but is not in love with me, he cares about me more than anything and thinks maybe we might end up back together.

how does anyone expect you to believe that kind of shit after that kind of betrayl.

I still love him more than life and want to be with him, and pray we do make it back to each other becuz i cant imagine a future without him but i dont see how it can happen.

We are still close friends becuz i cant bare not to have him in my life when he has been so much, i know its not healthy but i have to do this my own way.

Im trying to believe these events happened for the better good and will be a blessing in disguise.

I believe i lost myself him, and felt restricted to experience life.

Im trying to look at all this as a chance to  be free and do everything i want and start putting myself first and rediscovering who im meant to be.

So this is the long road back from the lowest of lows....only time will tell where the destination if going to end up.