I Feel Free......

I feel somewhat free, more free than I felt Friday afternoon before I left work. Shall I start at the beginning....

So Friday after I finished I took My first step at being Independent and doing what I want when I want, without checking with anyone.  The result....

Thats right I went into the tattoo parlour straight afterwork and got myself the tattoo Ive alwasy wanted but kept putting off, didnt even tell him, which Im sure surprised him since I always go and check with him about everything!

Then i went to dinner at southbank with one of my oldest friends, amazing meal and a bottle of red between us both and we were on our way spoilt drunk! probably one of the best nights out in a long time, i loved it!

we then wandered through the markets and ended up at a pyschic LOL who told me all my great fortunes..actually she really was quiet good. I will def be going back to her.

So saturday night I backed it up with a housewarming at my girlfriends place, now I had only been there for a short time when the shots of Absynth came out...

20 mins later and my head was in the toliet with my best friend rubbing my back reminising about the last time this happened when we were at schoolies

Now the more interesting part of the night. HE msged me and offered to pick me up, I had to see him because he had the documents for my new job.

so I jumped in the car expecting to feel this big flush of butterflies and excitement and I felt nothing...not a thing just meh

we went back to HIS apartment and hugn out for awhile, discussed what was going on in each others lives..of course as predicted we ended up in the bedroom.

The amazing thing is though i felt no emotional attachment, nothing of needing him,  missing him, wanting him, just nothing and i think its safe to say I miss the idea of our relationship and what we had but I dont miss him in the respect of i want you back. which is nice...nice not to feel those feelings I feel free

I really dont know how it all happened, I mean i still love him like a friend...but i dont have that overwhelming feeling anymore, and i feel safe to say that I dont see a future for me in a relationship but maybe just really good friends.