update

So this may of been the longest I have not spoken to him, It feels amazing I feel stronger, but I do notice the absence.
I have come to terms with the fact that he will probably move on before me and thats because he is male and it just so happens like this.
In reality he has already moved on, the moment he chose to cheat on me he stopped caring about me, about us. He stopped being the man I fell in love with and became a wanker!

I still get scared, scared I wont find that happiness of a family, that I wont meet someone else i will love as much or more.
So if any of you are willing to share your sgtories and give me hope please do LOL.


So due to the various shenanigans for my birthday my goals of health and fitness have gone off the rails.
Dont worry I will be getting back on them as soon as my world finds some order, I have been sick due to the partying and have been on bed rest the last 3 days, luckily I bought a hard drive and have had hrs of movies and tv shows to keep me company.

I have written myself a form of a bucket list

http://www.43things.com/person/m1ssjade

if anyone wants to see pleas go there, great site and concept.

I have also considered weight watchers as a alternative to lite n easy, again anyone have any opinons on it lemme know.

BAHAHA speak of the devil he just called to say hi.....I know I know, im setting myself up for torture and i would be much better off if i just cut him off but i feel i need to go through thre thailand experience with him....crazy or what

Dedication

I need to be more dedicated.... i seem to be coming across all talk and no action

So i figure that if I state my goals online I will feel more obliged to achieve them (so i hope)

TARGET DATE

febuary the 1st 2011

GOALS

My main goals is to be healthy and fit, along the way I would be quite please if i lost 15kg (this is the relatrionship weight i put on)

I would love to be able to run 5k and not feel out of breath

I would love to feel like my insides are healthy and my immune system can kick ass!

I want to have mini holidays, weekends away, so i can feel like im really living life!

I want to surround myself with gorgeous friends that i can have amazing  memories with

and most importantly I want to be HAPPY!!!!!

now the hard part, how to acheive them,

PROGRESS STAGE

-so this is my 2nd week on lite n easy, i kinda failed in the first week with small snacks in between

but today is day 1 of being dedicated

so far today i have had two peices of soy and linseed toast with vegemite, strawberries, bread roll with ham tomatoe and chees, organge and cheese and corn muffin. lots of water and a shot of coffee. 

I plan to go for a run well technically i plan to start C25K today for the millionith time but im sticking with it this time.

 You would all be happy to know I have invested in some garnier fake tan, and started using that last night, its a gradual one.

So count down is on for my birthday week. yes you read right week. i decided to entitle myself to a week long birthday after the shit Ive been through I figured I deserve it.

I really need to start tracking these goals, maybe I will make Monday Goal day. The day i report in LOL.

now back to boring old work.....